For Gwyneth Paltrow, acting can be an out-of-body experience.
Take, for instance, her first leading role in seven years — that of Kelly Canter, a country singer battling alcoholism in Country Strong.
The Oscar winner for Shakespeare in Love and mother of two "loved doing (the role)" but also calls it "wrenching."
She recalls shooting a scene in the film in which her character breaks down in a bathroom stall.
"You sort of see how unhinged she is. I sobbed in that scene for six hours. I went home, my kids (Apple, 6½, and Moses, 4½) were already asleep, and I was like a shell of a human being, wrung out to the bone," she says. "I took a hot bath and had a big glass of wine, and I began coming back into my body. Then I was like, 'Oh my God, how am I both these people at the same time?' In the morning, I was like" — she raises her voice excitedly— " 'Pancakes! Let's color something!' I thought, 'This is crazy.' I'm multiple personalities."
The role of a hardscrabble country princess battling addiction couldn't be more different from the serene and sunny Paltrow, 38, who radiates refinement. Kicking back after a lengthy day of press to promote the film, in select theaters Wednesday, Paltrow, ever the fashion icon, politely asks the waiter at an upscale Beverly Hills restaurant if she can take her shoes off. Her character would've simply tossed them aside.
"There's a part of me that relished playing her so much because there was no filter, no responsibility, total recklessness, and I am so the opposite," she says. "We approach things from such different places. Every decision I make, I take into account three people. Even a decision as small as where am I having dinner and what time. It was terribly freeing to play someone who just did what she wanted."
That's not to say Kelly doesn't have any heart. "Sometimes you play someone who's just dark, or they're just manipulative," Paltrow says. "But she was so human. You can see how much love and humanity she has. She's just off the rails a bit, and it's sad. (The addiction) was just bigger than her, and she just couldn't fight it off."
Director Shana Feste considered Paltrow the ideal person for the part because she would be playing against type.
"I was looking at this list of actresses, and I get to Gwyneth Paltrow's name, and I'm thinking, 'Now that feels like the most interesting, unexpected choice,' " Feste says. "I've been a fan for a long time, so I knew she had the chops to pull the role off. And some of my favorite performances are from actors that have nothing to do with their character."
Pitch-perfect
But could Paltrow sing? And better yet, croon country? (Alt-rock, maybe. Paltrow's husband, Chris Martin, fronts Coldplay.)
"I had heard her sing in Duets, and I knew she had a beautiful voice," Feste says. "But I didn't know how her voice lent itself to country music."
Not only did Paltrow's vocal ability impress Feste ("It's on par with all the country singers out there," she says), but Paltrow acquired a genuine love for the country genre.
"I'm so sick of irony and being cool and cynicism," she says. "In country, there's no irony, there's no cynicism. You better be true to what you are, to the bone, and sing from your heart without any faking and no cheesy lyrics about thongs or private planes."
Now Paltrow sings with her own kids, even if their musical choices are questionable.
"My kids are really into pop music, and it's crazy," she says. "They're singing like, 'Throw my hands up in the club,' and I'm like, 'You're 4, OK?' "
Paltrow jokes easily, whether about being a mom or the acting life.
"She's very funny and giving and open," says Country Strong co-star Leighton Meester. "She's always very kind. She's cool, but it goes beyond the fact that she's a talented actress, singer, style icon, wife, mother, chef, all these things.
"To not take yourself too seriously and just have a great sense of humor is very winning. "
When it comes to being a mother, Paltrow is passionate, but also pragmatic and prioritized.
"You know what I've learned? You can't have everything," she says. "You can't be a No. 1 movie star and have a good relationship with your kids and marriage. That's not going to happen."
Aside from a recurring role in the Iron Man series as Pepper Potts and a recent stint as a substitute teacher who sings on Fox's Glee, Paltrow has largely stayed out of the spotlight since daughter Apple's birth.
"That was the right choice for me. I'll never regret it," she says. "If anything, I still feel like my son's a little young for me to be traveling. They say until they're 7, they're still forming and really need you there. Their stability and routine is what's important. You can see when they don't have it, if we're traveling and they get out of sorts or we don't have a plan. They're like, 'Which way is up?' " Paltrow tries to keep things consistent for her kids when they travel as a family, "like morning and evening routines."
When the Country Strong part required shooting in Nashville, Paltrow was forced to choose between her children and immersing herself in her character. "It was such a hard part, and I thought, 'Oh, how am I going to do this?' " Paltrow says. " 'I can't bring my kids for the whole time. I'll never be able to understand this character.' "
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